Maybe it’s just me, but when you were a child, wasn’t there some dish that you wanted to try so badly but it didn’t actually exist? Some dish that was mentioned in comics or video games or books that make you think that that dish was the most delicious thing ever?
I’m fairly sure you would have come across Archie Comics at some point or the other. Didn’t Pop Tate’s Burgers look to die for? I don’t eat pork or beef but I would probably have tried a cheeseburger if Pop Tate made it for me. I want to understand what Jughead went so crazy about. And then I want to wash it down with a root beer float. Those looked like the best!
Feel like seafood instead? How about you visit the Krusty Krab and order a Krabby Patty. Cooked flawlessly by Mr. Squarepants and served with that green, crisp looking lettuce on that perfectly shaped sesame bun! Maybe that’s why he was always so happy?
Coffee and cookies you say? Wrestle some cookies away from Cookie Monster and sweeten the coffee with some honey from Winnie the Pooh’s honey pot. Alternatively, have a few Scooby Snacks. Don’t tell me you never wanted to taste Scooby’s favourite treats. Or who needs coffee when you have Gummi Bears Gummiberry Juice?
How about the delicious grey stuff Lumiere persuaded Belle to try when she was their guest?
Those Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles looked like they knew where the best pizza joints were. Or just set out a plate for me at Nancy Drew’s kitchen table. Anything their Housekeeper, Hannah Gruen made sounded delicious. Who has time to focus on a mystery when Hannah just took a warm pie out of the oven!
Anyone ever read those awesome Clue books? There’s a particular story in it with a pie eating competition that make me think that pie was the most wonderful thing ever – chocolate, lemon, pecan, blueberry, rhubarb, strawberry, etc. I spent an embarrassing amount of time ranking the order of the flavours I’d want to try. I actually don’t like pie very much in real life. Sorry, Professor Plum.
Or maybe there was a real life food somewhere that you always wanted to try. I remember there was a cafe called Coffee Time that we used to drive past every day when I was young. You could barely make out the doughnuts through the window and for some reason I thought they must be the best doughnuts in the world. A few times I asked my Dad to stop and get one but he always told me “No. Those doughnuts been out long and smoke already settled on it” (because people used to smoke in there apparently). He’d take me to Tim Hortons instead, but it never seemed to match up in my mind to the holy grail of doughnuts – chocolatey Coffee Time doughnuts that in my mind’s eye had this ethereal cloud of smoke floating on top of each one (imagine dry ice). During my last trip to Canada, I was gutted to learn that Coffee Time closed down. So it has joined the ranks of food that may have never existed – If a doughnut is displayed in a cafe and nobody eats it, is it still a doughnut?
What food unicorns have you come across? Share in the comments below!